Little Miss Crabby Pants Declares Us Our Own Worst Enemies

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for stupid people.

It never ceases to amaze me how romance readers can be their own worst enemies. We bitch, we moan, we rail at all the ignorant non-romance-reading morons out there who label the whole genre "bodice rippers" or "trashy Harlequins." We take to our blogs and message boards. We write letters to the editor. We get all righteously indignant, smug and point out how stupid "they" all are.

Yet, as romances readers we do the exact same thing. To the genre we so profess to love.

Mrs. Giggles got the ball rolling for me with her recent post on erotic romance, which was spot on and just plain wonderful. There's a reason people keep visiting her site, and this piece is a prime example. You also get the added bonus of Mrs. Giggles feeding the trolls who showed up. Bless her heart. I mostly ignore trolls because (see above) my low tolerance for stupid people.

Then on Twitter yesterday, Jessica pointed out the Blogs Suck Major Donkey Ass thread over at the AAR message boards. Sigh. Why? Why?!?!?! What is with the Us Vs. Them mentality that crops up within our community? I hate to be the bearer of obvious news, but no one of us is "better" than the other. No one of us is more "right" than the other. My personal favorite comment from that thread is when someone accuses blogs of being "insular." OK, are blogs insular? Certainly. But so are the damn AAR message boards! Oh. My. God. Pot, meet kettle. You two make such a cute couple.

The final straw for me came from this Dear Author thread on cultural appropriation. Jane, I like you. I respect what you've done with Dear Author. But some of your regular commenters make me want to put my fist through a wall. My favorite gem from that monstrous thread has got to be:

"If I want to read different, but I know that, say, Superromance puts out white, middle-class, mid-America, baby-abounding books, I won’t even be looking for that different book there."

Seriously. Someone save me from the stupid.

Are there middle-class, mid-American, white people having babies in Harlequin SuperRomance books? Um, yeah. But there are middle-class, mid-American, white people having babies in a shit-load of romance books. Harlequin doesn't exactly hold the market share on that. Also, I found this sweeping generalization rather intriguing since two of my favorite Supers of this year featured an ex-con hero (and no, not for a white collar crime) and a heroine bartender. I've read Supers about construction workers, cops, firemen, ranchers, web designers, you name the profession, it's probably been represented in a Super. But no. It's just so much easier to paint an entire line of books with one big ol' brush than to actually, you know, educate yourself about the line. Do you see me going around saying all Harlequin Presents books are about Alpha asshole heroes and brain-dead virginal heroines? No. That would be because, um well, they're not.

Romance readers get all het up when someone "outside" who doesn't "know" the genre makes sweeping generalization, but we do the exact same thing! Do you know how incredibly frustrating this is? Especially for this librarian who spends entirely too much time trying to educate her colleagues that not all romances are in the vein of bodice-ripping rape fantasies?

I'm not suggesting we all have to love everything. I'm not suggesting we all have to embrace every single sub genre. If you don't like to read category romance? Fine. No skin off my nose. But don't make sweeping generalizations that they're all secret baby, tycoon, amnesia books. If you don't like hot sexxoring that pushes the envelope? Nobody is holding a gun to your head saying you have to love and read erotic romance. But don't then go on a message board, or your blog, or wherever and say you don't read erotic romance because it's all badly written porn that appeals to the lowest common denominator.

Newsflash: No sub genre is all one thing.

Not all erotic romance is badly written porn. Not every single Harlequin published is loaded with stereotypical, traditional female roles where the heroine wants to get knocked up with triplets by the epilogue.

If a sub genre doesn't work for you? After you've tried several different authors and books? That's fine. But then don't go around talking out of your ass. If you don't like certain blogs or message boards? That's fine too. Don't visit. But also don't go around bashing their very existence just because you might not like them. Because all any of this does is make you look stupid and shines a poor, low-wattage light on the community as a whole.

A community where not all of us are stupid assholes.

Crocodile Tears

Anyone else been following the Walmart/Amazon/Target hard cover bestsellers pricing wars with interest? I know I was pretty excited about the possibilities of $9.99 (and now $8.99) bestsellers (hey, maybe I'll go back to buying Patricia Cornwell - who really could use the money, it seems). Then I read the fine print. These retailers are only offering these incredible deals online. So no walking into Target or Walmart and picking up a $8.99 John Grisham hard cover. Bummer.

I see this is a big boon for the holiday shopping season. Despite what the evening news keeps trying to tell me, the U.S. economy is far from robust at the moment. And if I'm any gauge, I know that my online shopping reaches a peak at holiday time. I live thousands of miles from most of my family, so buying online and shipping packages to my parent's house has been a lifesaver ever since I moved out west.

But other than that? It's highly unlikely this price war will effect my book shopping one way or the other. For one thing, I buy very few hard covers as a rule (only Tess Gerritsen, Laura Levine and Loren Estleman) and I don't read a ton of bestsellers (honestly, Gerritsen's about it). Also, when I order books online, I'm either downloading ebooks via Harlequin or I'm ordering erotica. To this day, I still make about 90% of my erotic romance and erotica purchases online. And frankly, neither Walmart or Target are going to start carrying Harlequin Spice, Black Lace, Avon Red, Kensington Aphrodisia and Berkley Heat titles any time in the near future....hell, ever. So free shipping or no free shipping, it's unlikely I'm going to click on Walmart.com or Target.com to buy one book. When I buy books online, I'm not buying just one. I'm buying four, five or six. Because that's how I roll.

It's been interesting to follow the various discussions online. I think Jane might be on to something when she speculates that this may "lead to the erosion of hardcovers altogether." A lot of readers believe hard cover = "real" book. Naturally, that's a bunch of horse-hooey, but this belief does exist. Will hard covers still be seen as "real" books if you can get a brand new John Grisham for $8.99? And what will that mean for mass market paperback pricing? I mean, hello?! A brand new paperback tends to cost around $7.99!

Other commentary online is focusing on the poor independent booksellers, who can not compete with these deep discounts.

Excuse me while I go cough up a hair ball.

I tend to get bitchy when anyone mentions those poor, unfortunate independents to my face because I've had nothing but terrible experiences with them over the years. By and large all independents have done is sneer, turn up their nose, and dismiss the romance genre (and therefore, it's readers). I'm obviously a brain-dead moron for reading such drivel and so incredibly stupid that it's a wonder I could figure out how to open the door and walk into their store.

So yeah, excuse me while I don't feel sorry for the independents.

Now certainly, there are exceptions. You have independents like Turn The Page Bookstore, which a lot of readers rave about. Although I'm not sure that one counts since the owner is married to Nora Roberts, and therefore obviously has a brain in his head. Also, I've been in some fabulous romance friendly used bookstores over the years - some of which even sell a selection of new titles on the side. But since their bread and butter tends to be "used" - I'm not sure they count either.

Which is why I keep throwing my money around at evil "big box" bookstores like Borders and Barnes & Noble. For me, it all comes down to selection. I know what I want. I know what I like. And I'm going to give my business to whomever can provide that. If you won't? I'm not darkening your doorstep. Viva la capitalism!

All of which leaves me with what, exactly? I still don't feel sorry for independents (learn to help yourselves assholes!) and all this hullabaloo is unlikely to change the way I buy books. At all. However, I'm still left with one question (OK, two). Will these deeply discounted books be enough to sway buying online-phobes to changing their ways? Will they get past their dislike and/or discomfort to save a few bucks to get the new Stephen King? And will this be enough to make Walmart a real threat in the online marketplace?

Time will tell.

Objectivity In The Age Of Twitter

What I've always found so interesting about the romance genre is the connection that readers share with the authors. Even back in The Dark Ages, it was pretty easy to send "fan letters" to authors. To this day when I crack open a book from the early 1990s, I often find a PO Box address listed at the end of the author bio.

Then the Internet happened. Authors got web sites and e-mail and it got even easier for readers to "mingle" with authors. Now in the age of social networking? Forget about it. It's a free-for-all.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Let's be honest here. Pretty much everyone outside of the genre tends to scoff at romance. It's poorly written crap. The authors are making money churning out Mad-Libs style books. The readers are idiots happily lapping up simplistic drivel. Lather, rinse, repeat. When you have that kind of scorn directed at you from "the outside," you're naturally going to look for approval from "the inside." So romance authors and readers have banded together as a clan, of sorts. It's pretty cool actually.

Where it gets sticky for me is when we talk objectivity. The line started blurring the moment the online romance community was born, and now in an age where anyone can start their own blog, it's gotten really murky. I'm all for everyone and anyone to start blogging (the more the merrier I say!), but when it comes to reviews and promotion, it's throwing a wrench in the works.

I'm a bit of a cynic at heart, but when I see an author and reader Tweeting each other, commenting on each others' blogs, and then I see the reader post an A+++ (squeeeee!) review for the author's latest book? Yeah. Doubting Thomas at 5 o'clock.

OK, so I'm a bitch.

And a hypocrite.

There are authors who comment on this blog. And authors who I follow on Twitter. Over the years I've unabashedly championed some authors (Maggie Osborne and Portia Da Costa coming to mind). So what makes me think I'm "different."

I'm not really. I'm a fan. An unabashed fan. What it all boils down to is objectivity. I've been accused of being "too hard" on books and being "hard-hearted." That last one, I hope, jokingly. But for me? The author is not their book. There are countless authors I have "met" (in person and virtually) over the years who I think are wonderful, beautiful, incredible, lovely human beings.

But I can't stand their books.

Do I feel like a shit-heel for it? Yeah. For about half a minute. And then I move on. Because my not liking a book is just that - me not liking it. Doesn't mean countless other people out there won't love the book and want to have babies with it. It's just that I don't. Also it doesn't mean I won't buy the book for work. Hell, my job is all about objectivity. Otherwise I'd never buy another Danielle Steel book as long as I live.

I think most authors are grown-ups and "get it." Maggie Osborne is retired, so she probably doesn't give a hoot that some crazy librarian fangirl didn't care for The Stranger's Wife or Shotgun Wedding. Portia Da Costa still talks to me even though I wasn't wild about one of her Spice Briefs short stories for Harlequin. Heck, Jennifer Lyon still acknowledges my existence despite me whining about her leaving behind mysteries (which I really liked!) to write paranormals.

Do I feel like crap when I meet an author in person and I gave one of their books a "negative" review? Yeah. I feel like shit. But I know it's a business, they know it's a business, and in the grand scheme of things, is my one less-than-enthusiastic review of their book going to ruin their lives? Highly unlikely. I don't have, or want, that kind of power.

Although if I did have that kind of power, just think what I could do for historical westerns?

Ultimately it comes down to the reader/blogger being honest with themselves. If they recognize that remaining objective is "hard" for them, maybe they need to decide what they want more. Mingling with authors via social networking or reviewing their books for a blog? I don't think being a fangirl is necessarily a bad thing (well, unless you're crazy - then that's no good), but own it. Admit it. Revel in it. Be upfront about it. Because I want honest reviews giving me good, solid information about the book. If your honest opinion is "Squeeeeee I love everything this author has written - including all the doormat heroines, 'man roots,' 'love grottos,' and asshole Alpha jerks who rape the heroine until she falls in love with him" then so be it. But own it.

Don't pass yourself off as being objective when you aren't. Because frankly, that sucks.

This is a constantly evolving issue, and one that I think quite a few reader bloggers struggle with. I also don't think it's going to let up anytime soon. Especially since so many aspiring author bloggers who have had feet in both Author and Reader blogging worlds are now starting to get publishing contracts.

Stay tuned for further developments.

An Open Letter To Romance Bloglandia

Dear Romance Bloglandia,

Yes, it's me. Your Auntie Super Librarian. I've been putting off writing this letter for sometime, mostly because I couldn't seem to arrange my thoughts in a coherent manner. However, today it all seemed to gel, and I think it's time we sit down to have a chat.

I'm tired. I'm tired of the same, old, tired ass flame wars. I'm tired of reader bloggers talking about "business," "industry," and "traffic." I'm tired of us turning on each other and eating our young. Two bloggers are closing up shop (admittedly I don't know their reasons), people are overthinking the BBAW awards, and I swear to God if I see one more "mean girls" brouhaha I'm throwing a Leon Uris book at someone's head (Uris because all of his books were like 9456 pages long and they would hurt).

Everybody is so damn pissy about everything and looking for ulterior motives under rocks and behind potted palms. It's gotten so absurd that Kristie, Sybil and I even fielded complaints about The Great Western Drive. Yeah, seriously. Are y'all not having enough good orgasms? Is that it? Well, just in case - I guess I better clarify....

We did The Great Western Drive because Kristie thought it would be fun, and the idea amused me and Sybil. I can't speak for Kristie, but Sybil and I do about 95% of what we do just because it amuses us. Nobody put us up to it. No authors or publishers came knocking on our door, begging us to promote historical western romances. We did it because we wanted to. That was it. We knew some people would really dig it, and others wouldn't. To expect universal love is just ignorant. But still, I was surprised. Color me Pollyanna, but of all the crap I've posted on my blog over the years, a little amusing project showcasing my love for historical western romances ranks pretty damn low on the list. Why the feck criticize? If you don't like what we're doing - 1) don't follow or 2) build a different bandwagon all your own.

My theory is that this criticism was born out of the shifting viewpoints on what "reader blogs" should be. Blogging is a job. Blogging is a business. If you're a reader and you want to blog, you need a "plan."

Seriously, just shoot me now. It would be a mercy killing. No jury would convict you.

I still firmly believe that blogging and the blogging community is about doing your own thing. Yes we all want validation, love and acceptance. But let's be honest. We all started blogging about books because we're patently "uncool." No, really - we're all "uncool." If any of us were "cool" we wouldn't be spending so much time on the Internet talking about books. Now, now - don't be offended. I make my living as a goddamn librarian. Here in the Bat Cave I'm referred to as Queen Dorks-A-Lot. The magic of the online romance community is that all of us "uncool" people found each other. And when we're together? Yeah, we're all frickin' awesome! We're all rock stars!

I guess what it boils down to is that I think some of us, as reader bloggers, have lost our way. I don't know. Maybe you think I'm full of shit. Maybe I just have a raging case of PMS. But I can't help thinking that it all used to be a whole lot simpler. Back when nobody felt the need to have a "plan." Back when we were all just tossing up stuff on our own personal Internet walls. Back when we didn't care about things like traffic, advertising, and getting on ARC distribution lists.

Back before any of us thought our own shit didn't stink.

I'll say it again. I've been blogging since 2003. That makes me old. But if my blog vanished tomorrow? Yeah, some of you might miss me....for like half a second. And then you'd all move on. That's the beauty of the Internet. It's totally fluid, and no one is immune. Even the "big blogs" could vanish tomorrow and sure people would be sad - but you know what? They'd get over it. The minute a blogger starts believing their own hype is when, I think, the first nail goes in the coffin.

I'm not sure what the answer is. Especially since some of you are probably reading this wondering what the hell crawled up my ass and died. I will say that if you're reading this, and you blog, that you do one thing for me. Just step back and think for a moment. Think back to why you started blogging. Think back to a time when blogging and the online romance community made you happy. Think back and remember. Hold on to it.

Then take a deep breath....

And exhale.

Yeah. That's it. I want that back.

Sincerely,
Wendy The Super Librarian

Donning The Black For Black Lace

Word came down this month that Virgin Books (part of the Random House family these days) was putting their erotica imprint, Black Lace, on hold next year. Meaning what titles are slated for the latter half of 2009 could very well be the end of the line.

Some of you are probably wondering 1) why some of us are truly bereft to hear this news and 2) why you should bloody well care. Well, I'm here to tell you.

This may come as a surprise to any newbie romance readers out there, but erotica and erotic romance used to be very un-mainstream. I was reviewing for The Romance Reader when Kensington literally revolutionized the market by launching the Brava line. Whoa doggie. You would think it was the end of western civilization. You wouldn't believe the crap that was getting posted on message boards and e-mail loops. There was no place in the romance genre for this....this...smut! It's nothing more than....than....porn!

No, I'm not making this up. People were saying this about the Brava line. Oh my, how times have changed!

It was through my affiliation with TRR that I discovered "the hot stuff." It started with Seductive by Thea Devine (Devine Crack Hos: the book with the pearls). From there I reviewed Beyond Seduction by Emma Holly. This was the second "mainstream" historical romance title that Holly wrote for Berkley. I loved it. To which one of my long-time buds on one of my e-mail loops said:

"Oh Wendy! You have to try her Black Lace books."

Black Lace? Really? Off I go to check them out....

I read Cooking Up A Storm and Pandora's Box was officially opened. I was sold. Hook, line, sinker.....addicted. There was no going back.

I'll be honest. As much as I love romance, I tend to get pissed off with The Code. The Code is as follows:

Too Stupid To Live Virginal Twat = Heroine

Female Character Who Actually Enjoys Sex Before Meeting "The One" = Skanky, Slut Villainess.

Being in my early 20s, not that far removed from college, The Code really pissed me off. I know. Sex is better when it's with someone you lurve....blah, blah, blah. I'm going to blunt. If you're having sex with someone you aren't hopelessly in love with, it doesn't mean it's automatically going to be terrible. Don't ask me how I know this, I just do. Let's leave it at that.

I didn't get this clap-trap in Black Lace novels. Black Lace novels made it OK for the female characters who were traditionally vilified in romance novels to be the heroine of their own stories. They could be who they wanted to be, do whatever they wanted to do, and with whomever they wished and....they weren't punished for it.

Hear that? That would be Wendy's little feminist heart singing The Hallelujah Chorus.

Now I'm not suggesting that Black Lace novels were all good (::snort:: hardly) and I'm not suggesting that all romance novels follow The Code. Like most of my reading life, it was my dumb luck to hit a string of irritatingly bad books one after another. Black Lace came along at a time in my life when I needed validation. I got it, for which I am eternally grateful.

So where did it all go wrong? The market changed, and Black Lace didn't change with it. Kensington Brava opened a window into making "hotter" romances more mainstream. Then Ellora's Cave kicked open the door, poured some gasoline on the floor and lit a match. Who woulda thunk it? Readers like erotica and they're more than willing to read it electronically? Golly gee.

Once the digital revolution in terms of erotica and erotic romance launched, Black Lace should have hit the ground running by offering up their titles electronically. They also should have worked on their distribution. You know how many Black Lace titles I've purchased in traditional brick and mortar bookstores?

Zero.

I can never find what I'm looking for there. In the old days, a few well-worn titles with spine creases (grrrr!) would be buried in the Sexuality/Self-Help (tee hee) section. I didn't start seeing Emma Holly's Black Lace titles in stores until their third or fourth reprinting (by which point I had ordered all my copies online), and only after she started swimming the more mainstream waters of paranormal romance.

So even though the revolution had arrived, I was still ordering my Black Lace online. This isn't a big deal for me, but it's still a small percentage of readers who order their books online. A huge market wasn't being tapped by making the titles more readily available in traditional outlets.

As for learning about what new titles were available? Forget about it. To this day it still requires a fair amount of Internet sleuthing, and for years I relied heavily on the recommendations of my smut-minded online buds until I built up a core of authors I knew I could rely on.

But while the possible demise of Black Lace isn't unexpected, that doesn't make it any less sad. It's hard to understand now, what with erotic romance being so darn....respectable, but Black Lace was literally ground zero. It was the safe place where women could go to read erotica that was written by other women, catering to female fantasies. It was breathtaking. It was groundbreaking. And now we're hearing the first few faint notes of a funeral dirge.

And if my broken heart isn't enough, that is why you should care.

Cold Hard Bitch

I was having a discussion recently with a fellow blogger who posed this question:

Can you review a book you didn't like if you "know" the author?

This is a question I think a lot of reader bloggers struggle with, because first and foremost, we're fans. We love the genre. We love to support authors. We love to talk books. And some people just find it hard to slam a book they hated after they've met the author who is just the sweetest person on the planet, dontcha know.

Me? I don't have this problem. To which this fellow blogger mused (jokingly) that I was hard-hearted.

I'm not, I just have my own code of ethics. Let me try to explain.

I've always been able to separate The Book from The Author. In fact, I prefer it this way. I hate when lines are blurred - which is why I tend to get annoyed with freaky rabid fangirl behavior. I like my reality in one box, and my entertainment (fiction) in another box. They can be in the same storage unit, but that's about it. For me the book is a commodity. It's a product that one buys and consumes - sorta like a loaf of bread. Certainly books can enrich my life, but like a loaf of bread, I don't always like every brand that's on the market.

Another thing (and this is worth repeating): The Book Is Not The Author. I even think that some authors tend to forget this. Calling the book "her baby." Railing against ignorant reviewers. Posting on reader blogs that the reader was just "too stupid" to understand how beautiful the author's "baby" was.

Puhleeze

I know writing a book is hard work. If it wasn't hard work, everybody would do it. But let's keep it in perspective shall we? Raising a child is one thing, writing a book another entirely. I'm sorry, they ain't on the same level and you won't be able to convince me otherwise (code for: don't even try).

Does that mean I am without any tact whatsoever?

Hell no. I do have my rules.

For instance, I'm all for posting on my blog about how much I hated a book - but I'm talking about the book. I'll say the heroine was an idiot, the hero was a Neanderthal, there were plot holes you could drive a truck through, and was the cutesy toddler with a lisp really necessary? Notice there's not one single mention of the author here?

Also, while I'm all for spewing forth my loathing on my forum, I would never, ever, ever e-mail an author personally and say, "Cripes, you're a hack. This book sucked, you can't write worth a damn and oh, by the way, your feet stink." This is just rude behavior in my opinion. My forum is one thing. The author has to do the work to find me. Showing up at their house? Another entirely. This includes author blogs, author message boards or any other forum run by said author. These sort of promotional tools tend to be very fan oriented anyway, and personally I don't go out of my way looking for flame wars. That's me though.

Likewise, if I've read an author's book(s) and hated it, then meet said author I never say, "Hello, I'm a reviewer and I thought your last book sucked donkey balls." In fact, I tend to never mention I'm a reviewer, period. I just don't. A lot of authors aren't wild about "us", and again (being a wuss), I like to avoid uncomfortable moments when humanly possible. That, and I get a lot more love by saying, "Hello, I'm a librarian." Seriously, everybody loves librarians.

Do I feel guilty giving a crappy review to an author I've met before? Certainly. I love to go to booksignings, so it's happened more than once to me. I read a book, hated the book, meet the author and she's so bloody nice! I feel like a shit-heel for a while, but I get over it. Again, The Book Is Not The Author.

But I'm hard-hearted like that.

After a lengthy sabbatical I'm going to be dipping my toes back in the reviewing waters. I had wicked case of burn out towards the end of 2002 and desperately needed some time off. I had been reviewing steadily for The Romance Reader, and the sister site - The Mystery Reader, since 1999 with only the occasional short breaks in between. After over 160 reviews - some glowing, some dismal - I needed a rest.

While my time away has been enjoyable, I do miss the exposure to new authors and books that reviewing tends to bring. TRR's editor has sent me some real gems over the years - most notably books by Kathleen Eschenburg, Susan Wiggs, and Susan Grant. I probably would have gotten around to Eschenburg and Wiggs on my own - but it's doubtful I would have stumbled into Grant's territory since she writes paranormal romance - a sub genre that I do not actively seek out on my own.

I've long admired the concept of TRR mainly because print review publications tend to largely ignore romance - even though it is the highest selling genre of fiction. Whether this is due to the fact that romance is mainly still published in mass market paperback form, or pure snobbiness is hard to say. I say it's a little bit of both - althouth it still amazes me the depth of disdain romance seems to induce in the literary community - including librarians.

I've long stood by my enjoyment of popular fiction - be it romance or mystery - mainly because I enjoy it so darn much. I do take life seriously, I do work hard - but honestly my idea of unwinding does not involve reading a book about miserable people, living miserable lives, and treating everyone who enters their world miserably.

But I'm just a mild-mannered librarian - what do I know?

Really, I'm not a bubblehead. I have thoughts, ideas, and opinions - all that happy fun stuff. Truly I do. I just am not always the best at articulating how I feel on certain issues, and well, I hate conflict. I am the sort of person who avoids an argument - I would have made a lousy lawyer.

Again though - I do have opinions, and since everyone is talking about Iraq these days, why can't I?

After 9/11 the United States had unprecedented support from the world (even China folks - that's saying something), and our president was universally loved. A year and a half later the story is completely different. How the U.S. could squander so much good will in a year and a half still boggles my mind. The whole thing stinks in a "something is rotten in Denmark" sort of way.

So how did we squander it? Well I think Bush lost a whole lot of people with his you're either with us or against us mentality. Diplomacy is only one part, "carry a big stick." The part that seems to have been forgotten is to "speak softly."

Americans are forever living down the notion that we're a bunch of obnoxious, loud-mouthed yokels who wouldn't know subtlety if it bit us in the butt. Our invasion of Iraq and our thumbing our noses at the U.N. only reinforces this opinion. With half the world already resenting the heck out of us - well it is not looking good folks.

I don't like Saddam. Of course we should have kicked him to the curb 10 years ago - but that's another rant entirely. I don't think the way to handle him is to back him into a corner and poke a stick at him. He's going to do something stupid - and when Saddam gets stupid, it gets messy. The minute he knows it's hopeless I wouldn't be surprised if the chemical weapons are released and/or he bombs the heck out of Israel. I admit this is pure speculation on my part.

So do I support the war in Iraq? Well it's a little late for that isn't it? We now have troops over there - and I wholeheartedly support them. For better or worse we're along for the ride, and the chips are going to fall where they may. Time to break out the yellow ribbons.

I love to read. My fascination with books really knows no bounds - it's an addiction that grows stronger every day. The perfect day for me would feature a good meal, a good book, and a trip to the area used book stores where I can hunt to my heart's content. A dorky librarian's dream.

So why does someone who appreciates good books, and is grossly overeducated in some respects, want to waste her time reading drivel like romance novels? Simple - I don't think it's drivel.

I may be a smart ass, but I'm also an optimist. I'm one of those annoying people who thinks that it "will work out in the end" no matter how dire things become. Romance novels feed into this philosophy. No matter how miserable the characters may be, no matter the odds that stand in their way, they always get a happy ending. Always. The heroine doesn't die of cancer at the end; the hero doesn't leave his wife for his beautiful young secretary.

I'm not going to lie to you - there are awful romance novels out there. Likewise there is bad science fiction, mysteries, non-fiction and literary fiction that is published every day. It's easy to harp on the romances because there are literally thousands of them published every year, with the market getting flooded with a new batch every month.

Romance readers are among the most serious book junkies I know. They think nothing spending their free time hunting down that elusive author's backlist or dropping a wad of cash at a bookstore. They also are the most serious readers I know. They never leave home without a book - because what if they get stuck waiting in line at the grocery store and have nothing to read!

I can appreciate a classic work of fiction, as can many romance readers. Ask one sometime what their favorite book of all time is - you might be surprised at the diversity you find. For the record - mine are Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck with Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes sliding in a close second. Not bad for a romance reader huh?

Being a librarian is not easy. I can just imagine you sitting out there in cyberspace thinking "Yeah, sure Wendy. What do you do stamp books and shush people all day?" Actually, I don't. For one thing, we're automated and I used a stamp for the first time last week (I've had this job for 4 years). I do shush people - but only rowdy children who are screaming at the tops of their lungs. And then I don't shush, I advise them to use an "inside voice."

Librarians do not have easy jobs. In between the Internet filtering debate that just won't die and the Patriot Act, we have a lot on our table. Let's analyze these shall we?

Internet filters don't work. If they did work, I have no doubt that librarians would jump on the bandwagon faster than you can say "The Bill of Rights." Filters block out some of the good and not all of the bad. They promote a false sense of security. That's why librarians don't like them.

No - we don't want children to access porn. We don't want anyone accessing porn. Hey, whatever you do at home to get your jollies is fine by me, but don't bring it into a public place - that's just icky.

And let's get this out of the way right now - kids are going to look at porn. It's a natural curiosity thing. Everyone (and I mean everyone - don't even try to deny it) stole a peak at a Playboy in their day. What is dangerous are chat rooms. Personally I would much rather catch my child looking at boobs than chatting with a 56 year old man who claims to be a 13 year old girl. That's just me though.

As for the Patriot Act - well this is a mess - just take a look at the link and see why librarians are so rankled. In a nutshell - it's a privacy thing. Not every person who checks out The Catcher in the Rye has plans to kill a Beatle. Not every high school kid who reads Rage by Richard Bachman (Stephen King) wants to shoot up their school. It's that simple. Sure there is the "well if you don't have anything to hide why should it bother you" argument - but that's pretty ignorant.

What makes America great is the incredible amount of freedom we as citizens have. Take a look at the Bill of Rights some time. It's fascinating stuff - and the freedoms it allows are incredible.

Which brings me to my final point - it's my right as an Ameican to disagree with the actions our government takes - but does that mean I want to live in any other country in the world? Nope. Well - maybe England. I'd finally be able to get copious amounts of tea without any sort of hassle. Americans and their coffee - humpfh!